Improving Your Life Archives | Loving This Life

7 Ideas to Help You Live in Lockdown

by Bron | Sep 12, 2021 | Improving Your Life

I’m sure you’d agree that saying life has changed in the past 18-24 months is a gross understatement! We've all had to learn new ways to help us live in these unusual times.

I was reminded this morning that one of the last things I did that was “truly normal” prior to our first lockdown in Melbourne, Australia, was to go to the theatre with my daughter to see the show “Come From Away “. (By the way the show was fantastic!!)

I can remember walking into the theatre and being overwhelmed by the smell of some sort of antibacterial cleaner. (Little did I realize how normal that smell would become.) But I was also feeling a bit nervous. We had started to see Covid cases appear in Australia, while also seeing the enormity of what was happening overseas, which made us wonder how Covid would emerge here. Coming to a theatre surrounded by people had suddenly made me a bit nervous.

Since then, life has changed enormously. We are in the middle of another prolonged lockdown in Melbourne and although we’re all sick of it, we don’t want to experience the huge spike in covid cases if we were to live normally!

So how do we live in Lockdown? We’ve all been impacted – through being stood down from employment; kids not at school – and unable to catch up with friends, etc.; parents working at home, while trying to supervise children doing online learning. It’s a recipe for chaos isn’t it!

I keep on asking myself how did our parents’, grandparents & great grandparents manage? For the majority there was more land, and it was safer for kids to roam the neighbourhood on their bikes and with their friends.

I asked my subscribers what they have been doing to help occupy themselves and also to care for their friends and family. I’ve listed these and some other ideas that I found that are worth thinking about below. I hope they will help you find something enjoyable to do by yourself, or with your family.

7 ways to help you live a better life during lockdown:

Create a “Lockdown Journal!” to remind you and show others what this time was like. It can be as pretty (if you’re a crafty) or as straightforward as you like! (My daughter created a photobook made up of all the photos from the past year.)
Gardening was a common answer – but people were choosing to try new things that they didn’t usually do, e.g.:
- Growing plants from seeds.
- Planting a herb garden.
- Creating a section of your garden that will intrigue your children and/or grandchildren – a fairy or dinosaur garden; or create things from small rocks. You can paint pots in bright colours; add toys to the garden, etc. The ideas are endless. (Go to Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com and type in kid friendly gardens or kids garden ideas into the search and you’ll be amazed at how many great ideas there are.)
- Stone balancing – like the main picture above – check some out online and you'll quickly see the challenge in it. (Check out this link: https://www.solidsmack.com/design/stone-balancing-unreal-stone-sculptures-michael-grab/ )

Others have set themselves some goals for each day:
- Do something for someone else each day.
- Go for a walk at least 3 times a week or do some form of exercise each day.
- Read a new book and learn something new.
- Garden for 30 mins a day.

Online Courses has been another way people have used their time in lockdown productively. It’s a good time to try your hand at something you’ve thought about doing, but never had the time. The opportunities for online courses are endless and, to be honest, when you start looking online, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

I encourage you to check with any of your friends who have done online courses and see what they’ve done. If you know what area you would like to learn more about, ask people who may know what is available. Or search on Pinterest or Udemy for ideas.

Lots of people are having “an evening out – at home!” They dress up, grab a drink, and go to their loungeroom and watch a performance being streamed online.

There are so many alternatives to this idea – use your imagination! To get you started try these suggestions:

Cook a meal from a certain country and get dressed up, as best you can, in that country’s dress.
Learn some new dances online and have an evening of dance in your lounge room.
Watch your favourite movie, just as if you were in a theatre/drive-in. Cook up some popcorn – maybe a choc-top ice cream – or anything else you like.

My husband and I play cribbage – a card game with a wooden board to mark your score – so last lockdown we kept a record of who won each game. We played most days and it certainly added up. Keeping a tally kept us wanting to keep playing. (It’s also a fun thing to do when you find yourself a bit lost during the day!)

You can do this with young kids playing uno, or fish, or teenagers with slightly more challenging games, or with adults. It’s fun knowing you’ll play at a certain time each day and keep a score. It becomes something to look forward to.

Every so often we organise online games with friends or family on zoom. It’s a bit more challenging doing it online, but still a lot of fun.

Did you know you can even do free jigsaws together online? Try: puzzlegarage.com or https://jigsawpuzzles.io/ – there are several around that do free jigsaws. You can challenge yourselves to see who puts in the most pieces, or just do them together while chatting online via zoom or skype.

As you can see, the possibilities are endless. They take a bit of setting up sometimes, but most are pretty easy to organise.

Here's a bonus tip for you – Yesterday I read an article about what psychologists thought were some of the best things to do during lockdown. While they acknowledged that a lot of us reach for the remote to watch re-runs of our favourite sitcoms and that it isn't a bad thing, they said that doing things like “singing in the shower” (or anywhere, really) and dancing would do a lot more to improve your mood. So, try turning the music on and singing along; and find a video “dancercise” programme so you can dance and exercise at the same time!

Remember, it’s important to look outside of yourself for a while each day. See how others are doing; do some gardening; take your mind off of yourself and enjoy something. It’s amazing how much this can help us.

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” Albert Einstein.

Try the 5 Day Habit Challenge today

Do You Know That Listening Matters?

by Bron | Jun 25, 2020 | Improving Your Life

Listening to people matters; it’s important because it can change people’s lives.

You might be thinking “what is she talking about? That’s a vast over-statement.” But I honestly believe it isn’t an over-statement and here’s why.

I have had many times when someone has listened to me when I am trying to work something out or when I’m struggling with a particular issue and as they listened, I was able to get clarity on my situation. Just having a conversation with someone helped me to know how to move forward.

Have you ever experienced the relief that comes when you can get out some of what has been churning around in your brain and the feelings that came with it? As you say it aloud to someone, it can bring clarity just as you hear yourself say it. You don’t even need them to say anything!

There are other times when if the person who is listening to you can mirror back to you what they are seeing and hearing – the words and everything around the words (your tone of voice; tension in your body; emotions that might rise, etc.). This can bring enormous relief and hopefully some clarity about how to move forward in a situation. Sometimes you just need to get it out and know that someone has heard it. You don’t need anything else.

I know it sounds a bit strange, but I know for myself that this alone can help. The listener’s response – both in words and actions – can bring relief to the person speaking. They understand. They’re not laughing at you or calling you crazy. They are caring for you by giving you their time, attention and by not judging you.

Don’t you long to have people around you who can really listen to you? Who don’t spend all their time talking, but give you the time and space to share? Imagine how you might be able to help the people in your life if you could listen more effectively. Maybe it hasn’t been a priority for you up until now. But we find ourselves in a different time/season, where communication – and especially listening to understand – is crucial.

How can I know what life is like for my indigenous brothers and sister if I don’t listen? How can I know how the elderly and my broader family are managing through isolation due to coronavirus if I don’t create opportunities to speak and listen to them?

I produced a simple, straightforward course to give people the foundations of listening. It’s not difficult, listening alone can be hard enough when we get started! I’ve reduced the price of the course from $37USD to $9USD because I want as many people as possible to start on this journey of listening more effectively. Click on this to enrol now: LISTENING FOUNDATIONS – I WANT IN!

Whose life could you change by listening to them, today?

DO YOUR EMOTIONS CONTROL YOU? Here are 5 steps to help you move forward…

by Bron | Jun 24, 2020 | Improving Your Life, Living with Fibromyalgia

Do you have days that don't go to plan because your emotions take over and lead you in another direction?

Are there days slip away in a haze of feelings?

Do you feel helpless to do anything about your emotions?

We all have days where nothing goes to plan:

We start working on something but get lost on the way.
Being uncertain about how to move forward, emotions take control.
Messages from the past start to flow through our mind – “you’re hopeless, you can’t do this”, “you’ll always be stuck right where you are”.
We are well and truly “stuck” in the quicksand of our feelings.

Does any of the above ring true for you? It may not be every day, but it happens more than you would like.

Looking back, I can see many, many days that were hi-jacked by my feelings. Some days I couldn’t see through the haze of emotion & felt powerless to know how to move forward. On other days, the feelings came and went but I was aware that they were still “bubbling away” under the surface There can be many reasons why this happens, and we are going to explore some of them here. But before we do, here is an important note and a couple of “do nots” to remember: If you feel depressed – if your feelings are mostly negative and they regularly overwhelm you, please seek help straight away. There are many phone counselling services you can call 24/7 (check online) – or see your Doctor asap. Do not wait. Seek help now.

DON’T: …always push your feelings down, plant a smile on your face and go on – every day. To be honest, there will be days that we need to do this – to push through in spite of the emotions. The reason I say not to do this all the time, is that at some point the feelings will build up and up and up until they “explode” out of you! It isn’t pretty when this happens! It sounds overly dramatic, but it happens if we don’t understand our emotions. We may yell at someone who has done nothing wrong! Or we may start crying in the middle of a meeting / class for no obvious reason.

Someone once described it to me in this way – imagine a rubbish bin. You are stuffing your emotions in the bin “to deal with another time” or just to get rid of them. If you keep on doing this, without seeking any help the bin gets to the point that the rubbish just keeps on pouring out of the top because there is too much stuffed into it. We need to seek help to work through what the emotions are about and what they are telling us. It is nothing to be ashamed of. We all need help at some time through our lives. While occasionally, we do need to push through the emotions, it is not healthy for this to become a lifestyle. Seek help from a Counsellor, Doctor, or good friend who you know listens well, etc. Any of these can help you to name the emotions and work out how to deal with them.

DON’T … ignore your feelings. On the surface, this may look the same as point 1 – stuffing down our emotions. But this one can be even worse. We don’t even acknowledge the existence of our emotions. We just straight out ignore them.

At least when we stuff our emotions down, we are dealing with them – even if it is unhealthy! When you ignore your feelings, you’re not even owning that they exist in the first place. You just turn your back on what’s going on internally for you.

There can be numerous reasons why people ignore their emotions:

We can be afraid of the intensity of our feelings and feel safer to ignore them.
We don’t know how to deal with them.
Maybe we don’t have the time or energy to work out our feelings. Life is too full of other things to deal with.

You can probably think of a few more reasons why you find yourself doing this.

We are body, soul, and spirit. Our feelings can and do tell us about ourselves, and, at some point we are going to have to acknowledge and understand them. If we don’t do this, then it will affect our lives.

Being someone who lives with fibromyalgia, I have many days that are affected by physical limitations – aching limbs, fatigue or brain fog are the main culprits. These bring their own challenges.

But they also bring a range of feelings that I face each day.

Frustration
Sadness
Apathy
Anger
… just to name a few.

Here are five things that I find helpful to manage my feelings each day and move forward in my life:

At the start of each day try and acknowledge “what is on top” – i.e. to name any feelings and what thoughts might be going around and around in my head.

Journaling has been a wonderful tool to help me to do this. Naming and owning my thoughts and feelings; and just getting them out of my head and on to paper is invaluable to me.

I have a mini-training to get you started on Journaling that is available for free until the end of June (after that it's $9USD). If you are interested just press the following link: https://loving-this-life.teachable.com/p/journaling

Try to have a clear plan of how to start your day. Waking up and facing the day is often the hardest time for me. Lots of feelings and thoughts seem to crowd in on me at this time. So, the night before, or even at the beginning of each week, I map out what I am going to do at the start of each day.

This needs to have noticeably clear steps for me to follow.

Get up
Shower
Make Coffee
Read and journal
Start the list for today.
etc.

The first one is always the hardest! Just get started! Move. Get out of bed. Once I do this, I tend to roll through the next few steps.

Instead of having my day hijacked, I can focus on the next step I need to take and the more I do this, the more I feel like I have accomplished something, which is very satisfying!

Regularly catch up with a Counsellor or someone you trust and can talk to. I cannot stress enough how helpful it is to have someone I can make an appointment with, who isn’t a part of my circle of friends, etc, that I can work through what is happening in my life.

It can take a couple of tries to find the right person, but it is worth the effort. Life is difficult and, at times, asks a lot from us. We need to have a safe person that we know will listen and help us to work through how to keep moving forward, or even tell us when we need to stop and rest.

Take a day off. I can get into such a rhythm with the first two steps, that I just keep on working, or keep busy, because that is the easiest thing to do.

But I cannot stress how important it is to have a day off, where I don’t expect as much of myself.

To be honest, often I still have the first few steps of my day off planned out because I have learned I need to do this so that my feelings don’t control the day. But it is different to the normal start of my day. It looks like this:

Get up and make a cup of coffee
Go back to bed and read or listen to a podcast
Get up whenever I feel like & get dressed, etc.
Do some fun things that I’ve planned – which may include
- Watching a movie, or tv show (I try and decide what to watch before my day off – or I spend the day trying to find something!)
- Reading – usually a latest fiction novel
- Going for a walk
- Going out for a coffee
- Catching up with a friend
- Trying a new activity, craft, etc.

All and any of these things help me to relax.

Own the emotion. There are still days when feelings rise and need to be managed. If I have been living as I’ve stated above, then they don’t seem to be as intense or overwhelming.

I have had to learn over the past years to do the following when emotions rise:

Name and acknowledge what it is. This can be harder than it sounds at times. Am I angry, annoyed, frustrated, hurt, etc.? Do your best to name it and to acknowledge that this is how you are feeling at present.
Think about what you need to do with the emotion. This may sound strange to some. You may ask – what can I do about what I am feeling? Well, if you are caring for yourself and regularly care for yourself by managing your feeling as outlined above, it is easier to say something like the following to yourself:

“I’m feeling ……. I am okay. I am aware that …. this happened that probably triggered the feeling – or I don’t know what triggered it. But I know I’m okay and I can choose how I respond to the feelings.”

Now obviously, if you are not okay, you need to do something about it as soon as you can. (i.e. ask for help.)”

“As a result, I’m going to do ………..” Name the next step or two you are going to take. This may be to call your counsellor; or, tell yourself that while you can’t think about it right now, you will spend time later in the day to work out what the feelings are about; or give yourself some time straight away to work through it and then move on a step at a time.

It's time to take responsibility for your emotions and how they are impacting your life. Where will you begin?

I want the Journaling Mini Training

Send me Bron's article Living with Fibromyalgia

What can you do to Save The Environment?

by Bron | Oct 15, 2019 | Improving Your Life

How will we save the environment? The problem is real. We don’t need to go very far to see it, but the big question is “what can you do about it?”

I’m not saying that it’s all your problem and you alone have to fix it, but the truth is that every one of us needs to be accountable for the way we live our lives. Are we a part of the problem in the way we live?

We have to be honest with ourselves. As an individual on planet earth, we have the responsibility to maintain a lifestyle that does the least damage to our planet.

Where are you in the climate change / save the environment debates? Your voice matters.

Do you:

Let all the talk about climate change and the environment wash over you? Put it in the too hard basket to do anything about. What can I do to change anything?
Feel uncomfortable about the current state of the environment but feel powerless to do anything about it?
Get angry and frustrated when you see big companies abusing the planet with their pollution, etc or taking all our natural resources and making loads of money from it? They’re the ones who need to do something. I can’t change anything.
Know that it’s time for you to do something but have no idea where to start.
Already have an active plan for limiting your footprint on the planet and are working hard to explain to others what they can do?
Or do you have your own, very unique category that you fit into?

In looking at Loving This Life and thinking about what I want it to stand for, I realized that as a part of loving this life we need to care for the planet that provides us with all we need to survive!

So, you will find more information, resources and ideas to start discussion and raise awareness of what we can do to save the environment. We’ll also point you to some products that we think are worth trying to help to you to minimize your footprint.

START SIMPLY OR SIMPLY START TO SAVE THE PLANET

Do you let all the talk about “saving the environment” or doing something about “climate change” just wash over you and brush it off into the too hard basket?

From time to time you will find Affiliate links on our site. These link to products that we like and recommend. We do get a small commission from the seller if you click on this and buy, but this doesn't affect your sale price at all. Read more in our Disclaimer at the bottom of the page.

I know I have for too long. I’ve tried over the years to “do my bit” but the truth is we’re all going to have to work harder to help our planet survive.

I live in Australia where one of our greatest national treasures, the great barrier reef, is under threat. Many of our treasured species are under threat of being endangered – e.g. the koala. Check it out here: https://www.wwf.org.au/what-we-do/species/koala#gs.9hhvn3

So, where do we start to make a difference?

I’m no expert, but these are some of the things that I’ve done to get started…

1. Collect all the plastic packaging we use in a week and take it back to my supermarket where they have large bins to recycle plastic.
2. Stop using plastic bags while shopping. It takes some getting used to – remembering to take your shopping bags with you, but it’s worth it. There are numerous bags when you stop and think about it. Bags to carry all your shopping; bags to put your produce into (instead of using their plastic bags); bags to carry your purchases from general shops (clothing; shoes; etc.) But remember, use up what you already have. If you can’t recycle any plastic bags that you have then use them over and over again.
3. Buy products in bulk. I started buying the double length toilet paper and buy this in bulk. It saves on some of the plastic they wrap them in.
4. Stop buying water in plastic bottles. Buy a couple of environmentally friendly water bottles and refill these from your tap. I have several. One next to me when sleeping, working, etc. and a smaller one to fit in my bag while walking around.
5. Invest in a good travel mug for your tea and coffee and use this instead of the disposable mugs.
6. Check out the plastic containers you use for storage, etc. – again, don’t throw them out and buy more environmentally friendly ones. But, when you need to get new ones, why not replace them with long lasting products that don’t harm the planet.
7. I’ve stopped buying face wipes to cleanse my face. I got into the habit of using one of these every day without thinking how much this adds up to! Instead just use a cleanser with water or, like me, you can invest in something like Face halo makeup removers. They’re not cheap, but you can use them over and over again as they can be washed in your washing machine.

These are all pretty obvious things that we still have to choose to do. What do you do to save the environment? I love to hear what others do to save the planet and am inspired to try these ideas as well.

Let's share any ideas you have or what you already do in the comment section. Your ideas will help others to find ways to reduce waste. It’s a great way to work together and encourage each other to do our best to protect our environment.

Do You Want to Know the Truth About Your Life?

by Bron | Jul 3, 2019 | Improving Your Life, Living with Fibromyalgia

I am very thankful that life is so much more than what I expect it to be.

The truth about my life though, is that I often limit it to what I think I can handle in any moment. My limitations include having a chronic illness which results in fatigue, pain and brain fog. All good reasons to slow down and take life easy.

But I’m realizing more and more that without these limitations, I probably wouldn’t be where I am right now. I have to say that I love my life and where it’s headed. It’s scary, but it’s exciting and life-giving.

What about you? What is the truth about your life right now? Are you stuck somewhere, or are you moving forward into a future you want, one step at a time? Wherever you are, remember that you can make choices about your life. In fact, you are the only one who can.

I have had times in my life when I’ve allowed myself to be frustrated by various limitations that stifle me and stop me from doing what I want to do. But when I stop and look at the things that are holding me up, they often prove to be opportunities for me to grow and ultimately help me to move into a future that I love.

One of the tools that I find so helpful when I’m in this space, is to read others’ words about life and their perspective on how to live it. We need to be careful who we listen to, but when you see these words coming from a life that hasn’t been easy; that has had challenges to overcome and yet they’ve encouraged and helped so many people, I know that’s a life I want to understand.

I love these quotes that pop up on Social Media that ask questions about who you are and why you do the things that you do. They make me stop and think about where I’m headed and where do I want to be down the track. I’ve chosen ten quotes that speak to me. Take some time to reflect on these words, from some very wise people who have certainly lived a challenging life and yet overcame so much.

TEN QUOTES TO REFLECT ON:

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Nelson Mandela

“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” Nelson Mandela

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” Mother Teresa.

“We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.” Mother Teresa

“If you judge people you have no time to love them.” Mother Teresa

“A ship is always safe at shore but that is not what it’s built for.” Albert Einstein

“Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution.” Albert Einstein

“Once we accept our limits, we go beyond them.” Albert Einstein

“When one door closes another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one that has opened for us.” Alexander Graham Bell

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi.

How Real Are You?

by Bron | Mar 26, 2019 | Improving Your Life

How would you answer the question – “How real are you?” or, “Are you for real?”

I live in a beautiful, sunburnt country, Australia and we Aussies are often described as being able to smell “bull” a mile away (I’m being polite!). We know when someone is “putting on an act” and not being real. While this makes life very uncomfortable for any politician in our country, it hasn’t been a bad trait to have. I think it’s true to say that we’ve all become experts at hiding our real self and what goes on inside of us.

Think about it for a minute. How much of today, have you felt comfortable enough to;

be able to contribute freely to conversations around you?
speak about things that really matter to you?
or tell someone what is going on inside of you?

We all know that there are times when it is best not to share what’s going on inside – when it’s not a safe environment to do so, or when you have other responsibilities that you need to fulfil. (We’ve all come across people who don’t have very good “filters” and they tell everybody everything about their lives – appropriate or not! This isn’t a healthy way to live.) There is a time and a place for everything.

But the question all of us need to answer is: How much of your life is spent hiding behind a facade that protects your real self – all of your thoughts, feelings, etc. And how often do you allow others to see the real you? How real are you?

I can’t stress enough that there are times when “being totally real” could be a bad idea as those around you may not understand where you are coming from and hurt you with their glib, unthinking responses.

But having said this, we do need to stop periodically and ask ourselves how we’re going below the surface. Are we living life the way we long to? Do we share a deeper part of our life with those we trust? Some people are good at re-evaluating their lives and where they are at. For others, not so much.

For example, how would you go answering the following questions:

How much of today were you able to speak your mind freely or did you find yourself having to suppress what you really thought?
When was the last time that you were in touch with your feelings?
How would you describe what you are feeling right now? Happy; sad; frustrated; overwhelmed; uncertain; tired….
What would your life look like if you were living a life you loved?

My intention isn’t to frustrate you by asking these questions, but it is to help you to get in touch with your inner self.

We all have responsibilities that need to be met to be able to live – work to bring in a wage; care for our families; prepare meals; etc. But how different would your life look if you were doing these things being more in touch with your real self?

Often, it isn’t our intention to bury our true selves deep inside. We’ve had to do it to be safe; to ensure that people can’t hurt us. But, at what cost?

My life isn’t what I thought it would be. I have lived with a chronic illness for almost 30 years. I often try to hide what I’m feeling from others so that I don’t have to live with their reaction to it. Sometimes, that is a conscious choice – I feel too tired and weak to talk about it. But other times, I do it because it’s automatic – it’s what I’m used to doing.

Occasionally, I like to look at my life from a different perspective, to help me to see more clearly and not become stagnant or stuck.

Do you remember those Magic Eye Illusions, or stereo-grams – where you look at the image and make your eyes go slightly unfocused so that you can see the picture inside the picture? Sometimes I think life is like that. We need to look at what is behind the surface image to see what’s going on.

Reflecting on other people’s experiences and thoughts is one tool that challenges me about how I want to live my life.

Below are a few quotes that I found helpful to reflect on. As you read them think about how they speak to you and how they might help you be real.

“Whatever you are, be a good one.” Abraham Lincoln.

“Don’t complain about things you’re not willing to change.” Curiano.com

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Victor Frankl

“I am not a product of my circumstances. I am a product of my decisions.” Stephen Covey

“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited of what could go right.” Tony Robbins

These certainly make me think about how I’m living my life. I want to love this life I have and keep on becoming the best I can be. How about you?