When was the last time you had a day off just for you?  A day where you relaxed, had fun, de-stressed, even spoiled yourself a bit and felt refreshed at the end of it!

Well you’ve landed on the ultimate guide to ensure you get the most out of your day off.

We’re all different, so some of us might not need to take every step that’s suggested in the guide below.  Not a problem.  Just skip over that step and move onto the next one!

Why do we need a guide for a day off, you may ask?  Well, let’s be honest.  How many of you have said you’ll have a day off, but never got around to it?  There’s lots of reasons or excuses why!  Something else came up; you couldn’t decide what to do; someone dropped in and stayed for the day; there was too much housework/chores to get done; on and on the list goes.

If you’re anything like me I find days off challenging, especially when I haven’t planned anything.  I have a free day in front of me and, often I get to the end of it feeling frustrated because I’ve wasted the day!  I don’t feel relaxed, satisfied or peaceful.  Why, because I can’t get over the feeling that “there’s something I should be doing”.

Well, the something I should be doing, is having a day off!   I’ve learned that as I plan for my day off, I’m more prepared for it.

There are lots of reasons why having a day off is good for you:

• It helps you to unwind from the busy-ness of life and de-stress.  (Have a look at this article from Harvard Medical School about needing to de-stress:  <https://www.health.harvard.edu/heart-health/5-ways-to-de-stress-and-help-your-heart> )
• You feel refreshed and energised after a day off.
• You can be more productive after a day off.
• It gives you time to finally do some of the things you’d really love to do, when you had some time…
• You can catch up on some sleep!

These are just a few reasons why a day off is good for you.

So where do you start planning your day off:

1. Set aside a day. This can be easier said than done, but it is worth the effort of choosing a day and sticking to it.  Don’t let anything change your day off – (if something urgent comes up, then make sure you book another day straight away).  Put it in your diary/planner/calendar or write it up clearly on some paper and stick it on your fridge!  This is your day off!  If you’re sharing this day off with someone else, or with your family, make sure they stick to it too! If you’re wanting to set aside a regular day off, then set that in your planner and let people know about it too!

2. Decide what you want your day off to be. Is it going to be a relaxing day or a day where you get out and explore? Work out how much of your day you want to have planned out with things to do and how much time you want to “chill out” reading, or watching a movie, etc.  If you are sharing your day off with your family, maybe plan to have a few hours where everyone does their own thing at home before doing things together.

3. Do any research into things you want to do. If you want to go and wander around a market or check out some new shops or wineries, find out what times they’re open and how best to get there.  Maybe there’s a movie you’d love to see at the theatre – check out which theatre you’d like to go to and what session times are best.

4. Are there some things you need for your day off? If you’re planning a picnic or day at the beach, you may want to get the food as a part of your weekly shopping or pick up some of the fresh food the day before you go.  If you’re having a day of pampering, maybe you need to pick up a couple of facial masks to put on, or some supplies for a scrummy breakfast you can take back to bed for you.  Or you might need to pick up the latest book from your favourite best-selling author, that you’ve been looking forward to reading.

5. You’re almost there. The night before, check that you’re all set.  If any last-minute changes need to be made, that’s okay, just adjust things.  You can still have a great day – even if the weather changes your plan!!

6. Enjoy your day off. Take a deep breathe and enjoy each part of your day off.  Stop and smile.  Remember, you deserve this day off and it will help you in lots of ways.  You’ll feel more relaxed and have some more energy!

It may seem like a lot of work to get ready for a day off, but the truth is, the more you get into the rhythm of planning for it, the easier it is.

It is important for us all to have a day off each week, if we can plan it.  You’ll soon see the benefits from it and be able to face the rest of your week a lot more.

Why not try it and see?

How do you respond when somebody asks you how you are? Do you answer honestly and tell people the truth about yourself – physically and emotionally?  Or do you just turn on automatic response mode and say, “I’m fine”?

There are lots of rituals around greetings that sometimes we only become aware of “in the moment”.

In Australia, it’s a part of our greeting to say “G’day, how are ya?” – or other similar versions!   We ask a question, but to be honest, we really don’t expect an in-depth response – in fact, you’ll put most of us to sleep if you tell us in more than two words how you really are!  It’s not that we’re being rude – well, most of the time, anyway – it’s just that we use that greeting of g’day to get a sense of the person we’re talking to.   Aussies will ask again if they really want to know how you are!

For some of us, we don’t have many opportunities to share how we’re going.  It’s strange, isn’t it?  Often, we’re surrounded by people, but we can’t share what’s going on for us.  There’s lots of reasons why we don’t:

• we might not feel safe enough to share;
• we’re not sure that others will listen;
• we’re so busy doing other things we don’t talk about our own lives – on and on the list, goes.

Somewhere we need to find someone who will listen; someone who will care about what is happening for us and will give us the space we need to share a little of our world.  Without this, we can become very isolated and lonely; we can allow our feelings to overtake us and end up depressed.

Okay, so why am I going on about this seemingly little question?  Because I believe it can change lives.  Let me show you what I mean.

Have you ever had a lousy day – you know the sort I mean – where you’re feeling down, lonely, frustrated…; and then someone asks you how you’re going and after just a few minutes of sharing a little bit of yourself (and it only takes a little), you feel like a completely different person?  You end up feeling content and okay with where you are.  That’s a dramatic change, don’t you think?  From one-minute feeling depressed and lonely, to the next feeling positive and cared for.

This has happened to me on numerous occasions.  I’m one of those “feelings” people.  Feelings can easily trip me up and rule my life if I let them.  I’m very conscious of what’s going on inside of me and this can lead me down a spiral of despair if I let it.  Sometimes, I can be spiralling down this pathway without even realizing it.

But all that it takes to stop this free fall is having one person connect with me.  One person who wants to see me and listen; ask how I am and really want to know.  Straight away, I’m drawn outside of myself to answer the question.  I need to look at myself to find the answer and as I do that another part of me comes alive.  It’s the part of me that can see clearly and help disperse the fog I’ve been living in!

I wonder how many people’s lives would be turned around if we made the time to stop and try to connect – even for a short time.  Sure, there’s a risk in asking.  I don’t deny that.  Some people will just tell us to “get lost” in no uncertain terms.  But that’s their problem.  Their defences are so strong, they don’t want anybody getting near them.  But it’s worth the risk of being rejected, to help our friends and family know they are seen and ultimately, that they’re okay!   I don’t say that lightly.  I know it can hurt to be rejected, but aren’t those around us important enough to us that we risk that feeling of hurt?

You never know… by allowing someone a little of your time and giving them the space to explore themselves, you are giving a precious gift that just might save their life!

Can you believe that we’re on the runway to Christmas again?

Of course, the shops have been trying to get us excited and into “buying action” for a month or two now!  But, it seems we need to face the reality that Christmas is almost here again.

I don’t know if it’s the same for you, but I find it’s too easy for me to get so caught up in “everything Christmas” that by the time Christmas Day arrives, it’s hard to get excited about anything!  (I’m sounding more like the Grinch every year!!)

If my daughter had her way, our house would be covered in fairy lights from top to bottom with a Christmas tree in every room!  She is a true connoisseur of this season.

Having said that, I really do love Christmas, but I know that I need to make choices about how I prepare for it, so that I can enjoy Christmas instead of being overwhelmed by all the hype around it.

Here are six things that I like to do to help get make my Christmas wonderful:

1. I enjoy starting my Christmas shopping early, and do it bit by bit, so that I’m not rushing around in the last week trying to find lots of gifts.

2. Find some time every few days to sit down and listen to your favourite Christmas music – not what’s playing on repeat in the shops!! What’s your favourite Christmas music?  If you could stop right now and listen to anything, what would you choose?  (I must confess, I’d put just about anything on to stop the tune of “Have a Holly Jolly Christmas” going around and around in my head!) Some Michael Buble music would go down well for me.  Or even Relient K.

3. Make something to give to others. It doesn’t have to be complicated – but make it fun for you to do.  I’m a bit of a “crafty” person, so I enjoy getting a bit creative around this time of year.  Last year, I found a fun Christmas sleigh made with chocolate bars and candy sticks all stuck together that I enjoyed making and giving to others in a small group I’m involved in.  I’ve already started checking out Pinterest for ideas this year!

4. Read the Christmas story to your family or just to yourself to remind yourself what this season is all about. Even if you’re don’t have a faith, it’s good to remember that this season is all about love and giving to others.

5. By the time we get to Christmas Eve, I try to have most things ready. Our family has started a tradition where we go out for Chinese on Christmas Eve and then come home and watch Carols by Candlelight (and wrap any last-minute gifts).  It’s almost a preparation to slow down a little and enjoy each other’s company.  It’s so nice not to have to cook and clean up!

6. Christmas Day is all about family and friends (especially those who don’t have anyone to spend the day with). Over the years we’ve had different ones come and spend part or all day with us.  It’s been special to have them as part of our family.

What do you do to help yourself celebrate Christmas and not get overwhelmed with all the hype?  I’d love to read your ideas in the comments.

Have a wonderful Christmas season!

When was the last time you heard yourself, or someone else say something like “I don’t know where the time has gone – it’s just flown by”.   

We all know that time hasn’t gone any faster!  We’ve just been so busy or preoccupied with other things that we haven’t stopped and noticed how time is passing.

Time must be a popular topic if the number of songs that talk about it is any measure!

“If you’re lost and you look – and you will find me.  Time after time….”

“If I could save time in a bottle…”

“Rock around the clock…”

“Oh, oh, oh for the longest time…”

“By the time I get to Phoenix…”

And on the list, goes.

I don’t know about you, but I like to forget about the fact that we all only have a certain amount of time to live our lives and just get on with living.  I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not!

But one thing I do know is that it’s important to be present in each moment that we have, because time is limited.

If we’re not present in the circumstances and lives we are in now, we miss experiencing our own life.

I know this might sound a bit stupid – of course we want to experience our lives!!  But how many of us spent most of our time worried about what might happen in the next minutes, hours or days?  Or how many of us can’t let go of the past and those things that caused us pain; or can’t let go of the loved ones that aren’t with us anymore?

It’s not bad to remember or to plan for the future, but the question is how good are we at living in the present?

If you were to rate yourself on how well you live in the present using a scale from 1 to 10; 1 being bad and 10 being excellent; where would you put yourself on the scale?

Are you present when your little one is speaking to you, even when you have no idea what they’re trying to say?

Are you present when your friend is telling you what life is like for them and how they’re struggling?

Are you present when your partner is telling you about their promotion and how great it is to be appreciated at work?

How present are you when your grandmother tells you about her youth and all she got up to?

We can be so busy DOING everything we think we have to do, that we miss BEING the person we are, and we miss BEING WITH those around us on this journey.

As we come up to Christmas, it can feel like the past months have been a blur.  The bad news is – it usually gets busier!

So how do we live in each moment?  Here’s a few things that might help:

1. Stop whatever you’re doing and look around you. Whenever you think of it, stop what you’re doing and thinking and look at the people you are with and remember why you are with them.  If you’re on your own, enjoy the moment and remember why you’re doing what you are.  If you think, I want things to be different, that’s okay, but acknowledge where you are now.

2. When you can, sit down in a comfortable chair, close your eyes for a minute and allow yourself to slowly and steadily breathe in and out.  In and out.  Make sure your shoulders are relaxed and your neck isn’t too tense.  Gently roll your head around in circles.  Slowly and gently.  After a minute or two, slowly open your eyes and look at where you are.  See the colours, the shapes and the beauty.  Hear the sounds around you.  Are they noisy or distant and soft?

3. Acknowledge your feelings and choose whether to allow them to control you now. We can make choices about whether to stop and dwell on them now, or whether to move on and come back to it later.  At times it can seem that our feelings control us, but we can choose how much we allow those feelings to affect us in any moment.  Name the feeling: “I’m feeling tired”, “I’m feeling sad”, “I’m feeling happy”.

If feelings keep rising unexpectedly and leave you confused it might be good to journal about it or speak to a counsellor about what’s behind it.

How will you live in the time you have today?