Do you ever have days where you feel like you’ve been running at full speed all day long?
Lately, I find myself doing that too often. My mind seems to race ahead to what I must get done. Or sometimes I’m thinking about what might happen to me today or even reliving what happened last week! Regardless of which one of these is true, I know I’m not present in the moment at all. I’m thinking about the future, or the past – and it’s exhausting. In this frame of mind by the time I get to the end of the day, my body is ready to collapse on the nearest couch, curl up and go to sleep!
The scary part of all this is when I look back on my day and I can’t even remember some parts of it – like sections of the drive to work! The other day I was going to drop into a store on my way to visiting someone. I headed off in the right direction, but found myself way past the shop and almost to my friend’s place, before remembering what I was going to do! I’d totally forgotten, even though I’d taken a different route to do it! Do you ever experience times like that?
So, how do we live in the present? How do we leave the worries of the past behind and not race ahead to “what might happen” in the future and live in the here and now?
I know for me there are some tell-tale signs that tell me I’m going too fast! Sometimes, I feel a bit out of breath and my stomach is churning because I’m trying to get on top of everything and make sure I’m ready for what’s coming. The big one for me is that my shoulders become tense and end up a lot closer to my ears than they should be!
But this is a sign to me. When I feel that tension, I know I need to stop, physically drop my shoulders and relax. I need to make the choice to relax and focus on here and now. Physically dropping my shoulders and taking a couple of deep breathes is a good start to bringing me back to the present. I know others say to stop, take five deep breathes in and out slowly while focussing on one thing – whether it’s the rise and fall of your chest or your shoulders, just concentrate on one thing.
I find Psychologist, Abraham Maslow’s quote a bit scary:
“The ability to be in the present moment, is a major component of mental wellness”.
I think I might need a few mental health days – or weeks!! What about you? How’s your mental health? It’s not really something we like to talk about, is it? But it’s something we need to do better at. That is, finding ways to communicate what life is really like for us. Some of the problem is that we don’t have a safe environment where we can really share what’s going on internally. There’s nothing worse than opening yourself up to someone and having them treat you differently as a result.
What would it mean for you to open up to someone you trust and share what life’s like for you? Or, even ask a friend or acquaintance, what life is really like for them? It’s scary, isn’t it? You don’t know what they might tell you! But I know on the rare occasions when someone has asked me that question, it’s felt like they’ve given me a special gift. They’ve given me their time; their moment – that they’re willing to listen to me. In that moment, it’s easy to slow down and just be! Can you be a gift for somebody? If you’d rather talk to someone outside your immediate group of friends, reach out to a counsellor. We all need to be heard.